Little Badman and the Invasion of the Killer Aunties by Humza Arshad & Henry White

Author:Humza Arshad & Henry White
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241340615
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2019-03-06T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINE

Access Denied

I was gasping for breath by the time I skidded to a stop at Grandpa’s front door. My hands were shaking as I slid the key into the lock. But, when I went to turn it, it wouldn’t budge. I twisted harder, double-checked that I had the right key – it was no good. I couldn’t get in.

I rang the bell and banged on the door with my fists. No answer.

‘Grandpa! It’s me! I’m here!’ I shouted through the letterbox.

That’s when I saw something inside moving towards me. But it definitely wasn’t Grandpa. It was much too big. The door swung open.

‘Hiii-eeeee!’ said Auntie Uzma like nothing at all was wrong.

‘Where’s Grandpa? Why doesn’t my key work? Why are you back so early?’ I blurted it out all at once, still gasping for breath.

‘Don’t you worry, Humza,’ said Auntie Uzma with a weird smile. ‘Your uncle is going to be just fine. But he has overdone it lately with all his outings and now he must rest.’

‘He seemed fine,’ I replied. ‘Actually, he was more alive than I’d ever seen him.’

‘Well, you have obviously tired him out then. What have you two been up to exactly?’ she asked, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.

‘Uh, nothing. Magic tricks mainly,’ I answered as fast as I could.

‘Well, there will be no more of that. He needs to rest, so you must go home. Here …’ she said, and reached over to a table by the door to pick up a large plate of sweet, sticky jalebis. ‘For your mother. Tell her she has to eat it all. She is still so skinny!’

I accepted the plate of fried treats and backed away from the door. There was no sign of Grandpa in any of the windows. No sign of anything out of the ordinary – unless you count Auntie Uzma’s eerie grin as she stood in the hall watching me. What the hell was going on? What had she done with Grandpa? Why would she change the locks?

I dumped the plate of jalebis in a skip round the corner and ran home. There was no way I was gonna help those aunties fatten up my mum.

I was already shouting before I’d got through the front door.

‘Mum! Where are you?’

There was no answer. I ran through the house, yelling, but there was no sign of her. I figured she must have gone out and I was about to give up when I spotted her from the bedroom window. She was down in the garden, on her hands and knees, beside a big pile of weeds.

I pulled open the window and yelled down to her. ‘We need to stop Auntie Uzma! We need to stop all the aunties!’

She looked startled and clearly had no idea where the voice was coming from.

‘Up here!’ I shouted.

Mum looked up at me, holding a muddy trowel up to shade her eyes.

‘Stop shouting! The whole neighbourhood will hear you,’ she said.

‘Good! They need to hear this. There’s something going on, Mum.

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